John Crace Guardian report
Theresa May had a lot on her mind during her leader’s speech at the Tory party conference in Birmingham last week. Trying to avoid falling scenery. Not accepting a P45. Not losing her voice. A low bar, but one that required all her concentration. So much so that she made the basic error of failing to actually check what she was reading out.
In hindsight, the prime minister will come to regret having declared that austerity was over. It might have gone down well enough with a conference audience that was willing her to get to the end of her hour-long dirge without toppling over, but it was never likely to survive wider scrutiny.
With the International Monetary Fund having just declared the UK’s public finances to be in a more catatonic state than those of the Gambia, Kenya and Uganda, and with no guarantee of a Brexit deal that won’t make everyone even more worse off, telling the country it had never had it so good could be seen to be a little premature.
Jeremy Corbyn may still not be a natural at parliamentary set pieces but he is enough of a pro these days to spot an open goal when it is presented. So at the start of prime minister’s questions he put the ball on the spot and did the business. Nothing fancy, just a straightforward tap-in. There were 5,000 fewer mental health nurses than there had been in 2010. When was austerity going to end for mental health services?
You’d have thought May might have had some inkling that the Labour leader would go in on austerity, but instead she seemed genuinely surprised. Um, er, she was sure everything was fine because she had recently appointed a minister for suicide prevention. Not sure this would be at the top of many mental health professionals’ priorities. Corbyn raised an eyebrow, pointed out that her own health secretary had said mental health services were hopeless, and moved on to policing. When would austerity be over for the police?
May had no real idea. Soon, very soon, she hoped. Could we move on to something else? Corbyn obliged by switching to education. When would austerity end for teachers?
The prime minister was now so panicky that she began using bogus statistics that had already been discredited after the education secretary used them two days previously. Like many in government, she now seems to believe that repeating a lie often enough will turn it into the truth.
Next up were the failures of the Conservative-led local councils of Northamptonshire and Somerset, both of which were near enough broke. Now May completely lost touch with reality and went into Maybot autopilot. The reason the councils had no money had nothing to do with them having no money. It was because of something else, though she couldn’t remember what.
“There are better times ahead,” the prime minister ended feebly. Throughout the previous exchanges, the Tory benches had been unusually quiet, sensing their leader was flatlining her way to oblivion. Now they fell silent. Telling people things are going to get a bit better generally only serves to remind them of just how rubbish they currently are. And the prospect of taking a few weeks longer to starve to death isn’t always cause for celebration.
Corbyn rather appeared to lose interest by the time he reached his final question – it was all just too easy – but Labour’s Caroline Flint kept up the pressure by quoting the government’s own predictions that most of the cuts had yet to come through and people on universal credit would be £200 worse off each month. Esther McVey, the work and pensions minister, appeared delighted by this but May looked hollow-eyed and broken. There was just enough sentience remaining for her to be aware of her own inadequacy.
By the time Ken Clarke had pointed out there was no parliamentary majority for any kind of Brexit deal she looked capable of negotiating, May was left with nothing but her own incoherence. A binary babble of meaningless ones and zeros.
Long before the end, the Commons had voted with its feet and there were huge gaps on the benches of both sides of the house. There’s only so much mediocrity anyone can take. Even Theresa May. For a brief moment, she appeared tempted to make for the exit herself. After all, silence could only have raised the tone of the proceedings. But then a flicker of doubt. Perhaps no one would even notice she had gone. Not even herself.
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| Prime minister Theresa May speaking during PMQs in the House of Commons, London. Photograph: Jessica Taylor/UK Parliament/PA |
In hindsight, the prime minister will come to regret having declared that austerity was over. It might have gone down well enough with a conference audience that was willing her to get to the end of her hour-long dirge without toppling over, but it was never likely to survive wider scrutiny.
With the International Monetary Fund having just declared the UK’s public finances to be in a more catatonic state than those of the Gambia, Kenya and Uganda, and with no guarantee of a Brexit deal that won’t make everyone even more worse off, telling the country it had never had it so good could be seen to be a little premature.
Jeremy Corbyn may still not be a natural at parliamentary set pieces but he is enough of a pro these days to spot an open goal when it is presented. So at the start of prime minister’s questions he put the ball on the spot and did the business. Nothing fancy, just a straightforward tap-in. There were 5,000 fewer mental health nurses than there had been in 2010. When was austerity going to end for mental health services?
You’d have thought May might have had some inkling that the Labour leader would go in on austerity, but instead she seemed genuinely surprised. Um, er, she was sure everything was fine because she had recently appointed a minister for suicide prevention. Not sure this would be at the top of many mental health professionals’ priorities. Corbyn raised an eyebrow, pointed out that her own health secretary had said mental health services were hopeless, and moved on to policing. When would austerity be over for the police?
May had no real idea. Soon, very soon, she hoped. Could we move on to something else? Corbyn obliged by switching to education. When would austerity end for teachers?
The prime minister was now so panicky that she began using bogus statistics that had already been discredited after the education secretary used them two days previously. Like many in government, she now seems to believe that repeating a lie often enough will turn it into the truth.
Next up were the failures of the Conservative-led local councils of Northamptonshire and Somerset, both of which were near enough broke. Now May completely lost touch with reality and went into Maybot autopilot. The reason the councils had no money had nothing to do with them having no money. It was because of something else, though she couldn’t remember what.
“There are better times ahead,” the prime minister ended feebly. Throughout the previous exchanges, the Tory benches had been unusually quiet, sensing their leader was flatlining her way to oblivion. Now they fell silent. Telling people things are going to get a bit better generally only serves to remind them of just how rubbish they currently are. And the prospect of taking a few weeks longer to starve to death isn’t always cause for celebration.
Corbyn rather appeared to lose interest by the time he reached his final question – it was all just too easy – but Labour’s Caroline Flint kept up the pressure by quoting the government’s own predictions that most of the cuts had yet to come through and people on universal credit would be £200 worse off each month. Esther McVey, the work and pensions minister, appeared delighted by this but May looked hollow-eyed and broken. There was just enough sentience remaining for her to be aware of her own inadequacy.
By the time Ken Clarke had pointed out there was no parliamentary majority for any kind of Brexit deal she looked capable of negotiating, May was left with nothing but her own incoherence. A binary babble of meaningless ones and zeros.
Long before the end, the Commons had voted with its feet and there were huge gaps on the benches of both sides of the house. There’s only so much mediocrity anyone can take. Even Theresa May. For a brief moment, she appeared tempted to make for the exit herself. After all, silence could only have raised the tone of the proceedings. But then a flicker of doubt. Perhaps no one would even notice she had gone. Not even herself.
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